I want to dedicate 99 Red Balloons, that West German cold war classic, to comrade Vlad. That's right kiddies, there used to be an east and west. Vlad remembers, don't you Vlad. He wants the cold war back about as bad as I did, maybe more. Well it looks like we got our wish.

Too bad nobody is putting real money into offensive or defensive military systems. All our good stuff was depleted chasing our tail in the sand. So that means our equipment and our troop training is only two notches better than the Ruskies. So we're going to play this silly game with obsolete systems, components of which are wearing out and prone to error.

How about it Vlad, you gonna trust NORAD to tell the difference between one of your ICBM's or a falling star? I guess you are. Me, I would worry about them getting it wrong. They run on a shoestring now. We're talking about the same Air Force that can't keep track of a half dozen nukes on a domestic flight. Forget Obama or McCain, you better worry that our boys in blue can tell the difference between their ass and your mighty missile. Both sides are going to play this with crappy gear. We can play cold war...but this isn't our cold war. It's not our dad's cold war either. It's not Bond's cold war. It's not Kennedy's, Goldwater's, LeMay's or Kubrick's cold war. These kids nowdays don't have the attention to detail, pride and steely nerves it took to play our game.

Oh hell no. These kids grew up with Nintendo. They know one thing and one thing only about this kind of game. They know how to push the pickle button. That's it. Are you sure you want to play Vlad?

Well alrighty then, count me in. My future's so bright I gotta wear shades. Hmmmm....come to think of it, that's another song.

I recommend downloading Goldfinger's version although Nena's is still good...especially in German. Crank it up!

You and I in a little toy shop

Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got

Set them free at the break of dawn

'Til one by one they were gone

Back at base, bugs in the software

Flash the message, something's out there

Floating in the summer sky

Ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine red balloons

Floating in the summer sky

Panic bells, it's red alert

There's something here from somewhere else

The war machine springs to life

Opens up one eager eye

Focusing it on the sky

As ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine decision street

Ninety-nine ministers meet

To worry, worry, super scurry

Call out the troops now in a hurry

This is what we've waited for

This is it, boys, this is war

The President is on the line

As ninety-nine red balloons go by

Neunundneunzig Kriegsminister

Streichholz und Benzinkanister

Hielten sich für schlaue Leute

Witterten schon fette Beute

Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht

Mann, wer hätte das gedacht?

Daß es einmal so weit kommt

Wegen neunundneunzig Luftballons

Neunundneunzig Luftballons

Ninety-nine dreams I have had

And every one a red balloon

It's all over, and I'm standing pretty

In the dust that was a city

If I could find a souvenir

Just to prove the world was here

Here it is, a red balloon

I think of you and let it go

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

I study nuclear science
I love my classes
I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades,
I gotta wear shades

I've got a job waiting for my graduation
Fifty thou a year -- buys a lot of beer
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise
I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades

I study nuclear science
I love my classes
I got a crazy teacher, he wears dark glasses
Things are going great, and they're only getting better
I'm doing all right, getting good grades
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades
I gotta wear shades